Cocsa perpetrator reddit. TW - COCSA discussion/rape mention (no descriptions) Was talking to my therapist last week when I told her that I suspect that one of my known abusers, a kid I went to school with (who generally treated me very possessively and sometimes got violent - like trying and threatening to seriously hurt/kill other children) had sexually assaulted me at some point. 10 and I was exposed to porn also at that age. Friends and family members of survivors are also View community ranking In the Top 5% of largest communities on Reddit. This sub is a place for people who have Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Even though I didn't penetrate her just the fact I did something as inexcusable as that makes me sick. I hate myself now I'm 33 and I just can't stop thinking about it. The other issues have bothered me more now than ever. Key Takeaways Child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) is often misunderstood due to Hello I am 15M, and I've been suffering from the guilt as a cocsa perpetrator, pocd and ocd which is self diagnosed but I want to know, is there possible ways I can find free therapy or free counseling at a young age? I have a strong urge to tell my parents what I've done but I am afraid they'll view me as an insane son or somewhat a monster, I Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Was a Cocsa perpetrator. I was finally able to uncover the full memory of what I did and I've been struggling with guilt and Hello, a couple of days ago I remembered a situation I had somewhat erased from my memory, in which I think I was the perpetrator. -What were common factors between all of the participants ? What roles were played? (Perpetrator being SA’d, Content exposure, early internet access etc). For context, both victim and perpetrator were raised in an abusive home known to social services at the time for neglect. It is COCSA. It angers me when people say about perpetrators of cocsa that they're "just as much of a victim as the victim themselves" Discussion Yes I know many perpetrators have gone through COCSA and SA themselves and in those scenarios they are indeed victims, but don't start telling me when I tell my story that my perpetrators were victims too. If I tell my therapist, are they required to report me? The confidentiality statements don’t really touch on COCSA, so I’m not sure. was i a perpetrator (cocsa) TW for incest/description of acts that I'm scared were cocsa Therapy report about these events was written when I was 9, and my younger brother was 4. Crypto Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. Friends and family members of survivors are also Cocsa Perpetrator how do I get forgive? Cocsa, Incest I am M13 my niece is F9 Me and her yesterday were talking about mooning where you open the door pull down your pants and run, we were doing that where one of us sat on the wall and pulled down the blanket she didn't want to do that because it was "embarrassing" and I was like if I do it first will you and she said yes. This sub does not replace seeing a therapist and the information provided is for resource and Unfortunately, similar to COCSA, stalking involving child victims and child perpetrators is often minimized as bullying at best or even completely dismissed at worst. not masturbating, but just touching my private area. Log In / Sign Up; One of my perpetrators was victimized by another perpetrator of mine (hopefully that makes sense) and I believe that what they went through with led to them acting sexually at a young age and acting it on me. The perpetrator was likely 9 at the time but maybe have been as old as 11. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: Legion. I’ve been thinking a lot about some things that happened when I was little and I’m not sure if it’s considered COCSA or just normal child behaviour. (Minor on minor abuse) . i know it sounds disguising. TW// COCSA, Incest This is a throw away account because I need to talk about this somehow, but I’ve realized I’m a perpetrator of COCSA. I am a COCSA (Child on Child Sexual Assault)Perpetrator, and I need help, what can I do? When I was 10 years old, I sexually assaulted my niece when she was a toddler. Reply AutoModerator • Additional comment actions. You're a human person. The actions against me included, genital touching happening to me, forced to touch their genitals, forced kissing and attempted penetration, while this was Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Child perpetrators—children who molest other children: Preliminary findings - Child Abuse Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Terms & Policies Go to COCSA Am I the only perpetrator and I turned them into a victim seeking more understanding of what I started?? comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. Reply reply [deleted] • Woah, this is mind blowing to me! So many people in the comments are like, “nbd”. Age can however, increase the power dynamic between a perpetrator and innocent party. Friends and family members of survivors This sub is a place for people who have gone through COCSA to share their experiences, vent, give/ask for advice, or post resources/information. So are outsiders, but please be extra considerate to our members! Members Online • Potential_Bet945. Thank you for this question. I see people taking about it as a victim but not as a perpetrator. Even if known by adults, it is sometimes dismissed as i think i was a cocsa perpetrator. This guide will help you identify signs, understand the impact, and find support. She was a friend of mine. I'm not sure what exactly you mean by taking your anger out on this person but I think it's more than fair to express your anger about the abuse you faced. If you’re wondering if you’re in the right subreddit: COCSA in this context Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Friends and family members of survivors are also Can I disclose being a victim and perpetrator of COCSA without getting reported? I wanted to get help for what I think is real event OCD. by souvlakispacestation » Sun Sep 06, 2015 11:53 pm souvlakispacestation wrote: I'm asking because I've had a rough few days after attending a mate's 18th and feeling as if all the love and fun I felt in it was misplaced, that it would all fade so fast if they knew what I did. honestly unlike a lot of teenagers now, I didn't had the maturity and I was ignorant. 0 coins. Friends and family members of survivors are also 7. This happened 11 years ago when I (20M) was 9 at the oldest but I was most likely 8. My experience was completely traumatic to me. Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I think that I may have been a victim, but I also think I may have been a perpetrator. i did that to my sister. Reply Polymatheo • Additional comment actions. COCSA is a very real and traumatic thing, and it has very real repercussions. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. No excuse but I angry I had bad Some days ago I came across the topic of COCSA and a repressed memory crossed my mind. That was a period of my life I despise. While the trauma for the victim is the same as if it had I was a cocsa perpetrator when I was 10 and 14 and its a constant ruminating of how it all played out. I was finally able to uncover the full memory of what I did and I've been struggling with guilt and disgust in myself. It's either child on child sexual abuse (COCSA) or it's what developmental psychologists call "sex play": As a victim of COCSA perpetrated by my older brother, I think you should figure out a way to address the issue with him in a way that provides closure. One time, when I was 8 and my older cousin was 9, we both kissed and (almost) Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Friends and family members of survivors are also Hello, throw away account for obvs reasons. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Research estimates that over half of child sexual abuse offenses in the United States are committed by perpetrators under the age of 18. Thank you for posting this! I have a lot of trouble with real event OCD as it is my prevalent theme. PLEASE Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. I've also been a perpetrator involuntarily. let alone what This sub is a place for people who have gone through COCSA to share their experiences, vent, give/ask for advice, or post resources/information. This Narc sounds like she is in as much guilty as your perpetrators. i've been mortified for months now because i've realized that i might be a perpertrator of COCSA. What are the feelings the perpetrators hold or their response to the event over time?, What relations/age groups did they have to their victims? Etc. Approximately 1/3 of perpetrators of sexual abuse are under the age of eighteen. my relative was like a sibling to me when i was young and he also abused another relative. After a brief Google, I believe it means "child on child sexual COCSA stands for Child on Child Sexual Abuse. It all began as simple curiosity of the male body as I only knew of the female body and I was playing doctor with Alex in recess at the park. Yes, it is possible for a victim of child-on-child sexual abuse to be older than their perpetrator. Speaking with an I am a cocsa victim and perpetrator . he would do all the “take advantage of me sexually/coarse me into doing sexual stuff” stuff but that’s really not relevant to the question Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I feel like a complete monster. When I was 7-9 years old I found what was essentially porn. " I'm telling you: I have been repeatedly SAed and raped throughout my life and some of the most damaging things were done by other children. When posting, be considerate, and do not divulge graphic details. Friends and family members of survivors are also welcome. It started from a very young age I can’t quite remember, maybe 5, until I was maybe 8. He chased me, forced himself onto me, licked me, kissed me, tried to undress me, sang explicit songs in front of everyone about me taking my Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Joke is on him, because now Thank you for this question. Idk exactly how old I was, I think 8-9 max. I was a COCSA perpetrator, how do I move on? Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. he was developmentally delayed (no more than 10 years old of his development), but physically a lot bigger. A perpetrator can be just that even if they are younger than the innocent party. she was around 6 i guess. Hello ill just get right into what happened, When i was 6-9 years old I was sexually abused by 3 different girls (all older) this was a classmate, a close neighbor and an older cousin. In such cases, the age difference between the survivor and the perpetrator can vary, and it is not solely dependent on the chronological age of the Tw: cocsa, CSA, cocsa perpetrator So I didn't end up telling them the details about what I did. Friends and family members of survivors are also My brother abused me for 3 years, but we never talk about it now and we have a good relationship now. first, i would like to preface that i’ve never used reddit before, but while i was doing research about COCSA i came across this subreddit and decided to post since i still can’t figure out if i was abused/am a victim of COCSA or not. i was at a friends house and i thought it would be funny to make her little sister pee in a bucket in the basement. Expand user menu Open settings menu. Friends and family members of survivors are also Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I kissed her but after that I felt it was wrong and never did TW: sibling cocsa hi so this tiktok on cocsa just popped up onto my feed on tiktok and it made a memory resurface involving me and my older sister from years ago. COCSA is child in child sexual assault. This sub is a place for people who have gone through COCSA to share their experiences, vent, give/ask for advice, or post resources/information. Covert Nmom So Sweet To My COCSA Perpetrator (15, F) I am truly sorry. Advice Wanted I am embarrassed and ashamed for what I've don't. i’m still a minor and this is a throwaway account. i still see them sometimes but it hurts a lot to be around them I'm sorry you have to go through this. Child-on-child sexual abuse involves a minor engaging in sexually abusive behavior towards another minor. Here are just a few of the reasons that COCSA can be complex compared to other sexual abuse cases – both for victims, perpetrators, and others in the children’s lives TRIGGER WARNING: The following discusses reasons why the perpetrators of sexual abuse in these specific scenarios may not be entirely to blame. I'm approaching being a 28m and I'm disgusted to start realizing in my mid 20s that I've been on both ends of being a victim and was the perpetrator of COCSA, I think the #me too started to give me the information I needed to understand what happened in my childhood. Of course, survivors are entitled to their feelings and I don't know the full details of the situation but the comments were encouraging doxxing this woman (the abuser), comparing COCSA perpetrators to adult pedophiles/offenders, saying she (perp) was disgusting and a weirdo with op deleting comments from anyone reminding op that their abuser Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Was a cocsa perpetrator. I was abused by my classmate; she was only one year older than me. I think it’s the only way you knew how to process emotionally at the time. Friends and family members of survivors are also Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. The way I think about my perpetrator is that I 1000% forgive that 9 year old boy for what he Re: Questions for perpetrators of COCSA on reactions of others. i think i was a cocsa perpetrator and i need advice(?) upvotes ADDITIONAL TWs// threatening of violence, mentions of fake weapons/firearms hello. I know it was Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I kissed her but after that I felt it was wrong and never did anything again. When sexual assault occurs between minors, one may be hesitant to report the activity and if they do come forward, it can be difficult to determine who to hold liable. THAT is the source of the Yet, many cocsa perpetrators don’t remember what they did or what happened to them until they’re nearly adults or already adults. You're feelings are entirely valid about the situation regardless but remember that your reaction was entirely understandable and valid for your I'm not a fan of punitive justice and would advocate rehabilitation over revenge especially in the case of child perpetrators. So are I'm sure your perpetrator may understand too, if he knows that the reason he abused was because he was being abused, he would probably understand that the reason you were harsh and blunt was because he abused you. My perpetrator won't be arrested . We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I'm angry at my circumstances. by airwolffan » Sun Sep 06, 2015 3:32 pm. He is four and a half years younger than me. They should be found guilty of child abuse, and spend the rest of their lives in prison. One of both may have been molested by an adult prior to the incident. it was my little sister. i wanted her to do the TW: possible COCSA victim or perpetrator I can’t tell who’s at fault I’m so ashamed to write this story but I’ll try to keep it short. We have also received many questions on our FAQ page about this topic and whether or not a survivor’s experience “counts” as child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA). The tricky thing about COCSA is that often the child 'perpetrator' might not be fully aware of the wrongness of their actions in comparison to an adult perpetrator. It is important to know this because children need to be taught (in an age-appropriate manner) about CoCSA. If you want more context read my post in r/adultsurvivors. Friends and family members of survivors are also Concern for perpetrator (CoCSA) COCSA (child-on-child sexual abuse) I’ve only talked about this once and it was the other night, so please be patient as I try to lay it out, it’s been a lot to come to terms with/process but I think I need to try. We have received many stories detailing experiences people had as children being abused by other children on the Our Wave platform. From this experience is how I believe I became the perpetrator. As far as I know, her behavior did not escalate and she did not turn out to be an abuser as an adult. You're Some days ago I came across the topic of COCSA and a repressed memory crossed my mind. Recently brought up the incident to the police and they won't arrest him because he's still a minor comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. Past memories surfacing was I a cocsa perpetrator I’ve F(29) known for a while now that I was inappropriately touched when I was 5 by another child of a similar age. But we have a lot of the same friends, and my friends don't know that he abused me. It’s been about two and a half years since I disclosed this to my therapist. Or check it out in the app stores Home I’ve been the perpetrator too many times upvotes · comments. The issues with my father have bothered me since I was 17 and I am now 21. r/COCSA is a good subreddit for people who are also sick and fucking tired of being told the damage we've experienced isn't real and we "shouldn't hold onto it. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. So I just found out about this sub through the Sexual assault sub. That was exactly what I needed to hear. So me (8 or 9f) at the time, had a boy in my class I'll call Alex (8 or 9f) at the time. The labels they feel are appropriate are This sub is a place for people who have gone through COCSA to share their experiences, vent, give/ask for advice, or post resources/information. i remember at the time i had been exposed to a lot of inappropriate content on the internet by my “friends” at school. I didn't know what I was doing, nor had any concept of sex till I was 12. First, I think it is important to know that I In my mind it is a more appropriate term than what is currently mainstream with Child on Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA) Survivors. I guess it depends on the experience. Actions have consequences. This sub is a place for people who have gone through COCSA to share their experiences, vent, give/ask for advice, or post resources/information. I suspect that I unfortunately am a cocsa perpetrator. Friends and family members of survivors are also A supportive community to ask questions and engage in discussion about mental health-related matters with therapists on Reddit. r/CPTSD A chip A close button. when this happened, it was the time i started to masturbate when this incident happened. I'm angry at certain people for mixing me up and how I However, there's also a lot of misunderstandings about COCSA floating around, and a tendency to conflate what's actually very common childhood curiosity and exploration with assault, so I want to see if we can help you work out if what you did would even be considered COCSA. so i started to watch porn at a very young age. Im screwed up for life, not just because I was a victim of COCSA but because everyone left the perpetrators unaccountable and deemed just as innocent as the helpless party. Re: Questions for perpetrators of COCSA on reactions of others. My memory is bad so I don't fully remember everything that hi, i really need advice, anything at all. My abuser was 12-15, I was 7-10. This sub does not replace seeing a therapist and the information provided is for resource and entertainment purposes only. i still see them sometimes Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. ) and these things look a lot different from my perspective. But I’m not completely sure if these are false memories but as of lately my mind is leaning towards it possibly truly happening. anyway, i just wanted to know if what happened counts as cocsa and whether or not it’s really a big deal. for reference, i am a female and i am straight. This type of sexual activity between children happens without consent; Child-on-child sexual abuse is a form of child sexual abuse in which a prepubescent child is sexually abused by one or more other children or adolescents, and in which no adult is directly The term child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) is defined as sexual activity between children that occurs without consent, without equality (mentally, physically, or in age), or as a result of Victim here of COCSA. Friends and family members of survivors are also so i'm 20 and i've come to the realization that i sexually abused a child when i was a child. Friends and family members of survivors are also A few days ago i posted my story and how i thought i might have been both a victim and perpetrator of COCSA, and i got a very kind and warm response here, which made me feel less disgusting about it and validated my struggle. This may be incredibly asking as a cocsa survivor. Understanding COCSA’s meaning is crucial for recognizing, addressing, and preventing this issue. It is often highly dismissed by adults who view it as "harmless" or the perpetrator not knowing what they were doing. The parents/ caregivers had a duty to protect both children, and they failed. Posted by u/thrwawy6738 - 1 vote and no comments Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Yeshuaisking47 COCSA in this context means Child On Child Sexual Abuse and this sub is a place for those who have abused (AS CHILDREN) to share their stories, obtain resources, and reach out for help. TW COCSA VICTIM/PERPETRATOR, SA!!!!! Hi everyone, so this is my first time posting on this Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. Or check it out in the app stores and welcome to r/COCSA. The victim has been hurt and scarred for life, but the perpetrator is typically also a victim of CSA and didn’t know that what they were doing was wrong (since they’re both kids). We wanted to, therefore, talk a bit about child-perpetrated sexual abuse on the But this is the video that brought me to this Reddit and made me aware of COCSA. Judging by the likes and comments were not alone in our experiences. If you have questions regarding how to seek help for your child, an attorney can help. ADMIN MOD Please help, both abuser and perpetrator. i've always had a big memory block for certain years of my life, including that year, which became even foggier after i got addicted to weed. i constantly And before you even try and disagree, you'd do the same to an adult offender. Nearly one-third of child sex abuse perpetrators are under the age of 18. Friends and family members of survivors are also I am a cocsa victim and perpetrator Trigger Warning: CSA (Child Sexual Assualt) Hello ill just get right into what happened, When i was 6-9 years old I was sexually abused by 3 different girls (all older) this was a classmate, a close neighbor and an older cousin. More posts from r/COCSA. Now I am a father, and every minute of Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. it’s not like ive forgotten what happened, i just don’t really think about it in a long time. r/COCSA A chip A close button I was a COCSA perpetrator i am a 18 year old male i was probably 11-13 . When we're talking about COCSA, whether or not coercion, force, or an imbalance of I am a cocsa victim and perpetrator . when i was around ten i can’t remember what i was doing before hand, i went downstairs and saw my brother who was eight at the time laying on the couch, i asked if i could “hug” him and made him lay on top of me and groped his penis. As the title entails, I am a victim and perpetrator of COCSA. my friend and i coerced her into doing this and then poured the pee into the toilet upstairs. I want to know if I even deserve to be happy because I am positive COCSA is nothing but parental and other caregiver neglect. Reading your words I have a strong feeling that it REALLY affected you. You need a support system in place before you call him out. I’ve accepted that it was sexual abuse but that the perpetrator was as much of a victim as I was. Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. i am not sure about the age. If you’re wondering if you’re in the right subreddit: COCSA in this context means Child On Child Sexual Abuse. For the one that victimized them and I, I wonder if they I was also a COCSA perpetrator. So are Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I was 7yrs Skip to main content. I'm almost exactly like you, my basis for real event OCD is a bit different (similar area though), I've been reading about OCD and how some peoples fears are irrational but with those of us that have real event OCD, the fears are rational, because we have evidence for them being true. ? i can’t stop thinking about it to this day. it went on for over a year before i told my evangelical family about it then and they denied it and swept it under the rug. It was fun for me, and I hate myself for this. However, the damage was done for my relative. The Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. My abuser commited most of his shit as a minor. So i was a perpetrator of cocsa CONTENT WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT i dont even remember how old i was, maybe 10-11? it went on for at least a year. Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. I am 20 now. One night I was so curious and decided to 'practice' on my sister when she was asleep (she was 5/6). I've been wanting to bring it up to I think I was a perpetrator of COCSA and I don't know how to move forward. What this means is that a power difference exists between the two children, whether that is in age, size, or ability. As for the disgusting part where I am a monster. A supportive community to ask questions and engage in discussion about mental health-related matters with therapists on Reddit. [12] However, child-on-child sexual abuse frequently goes unreported because it is not widely known about by the public, [2] and often occurs outside of adults' supervision. I’ve been getting better at reducing rumination and confessing but it’s gotten to the point now where I’m more distressed by the fact that I’m getting obsessive thoughts about so many things around me at once rather than what the content of them is. Its obvious and conclusive that a child is capable of sexual assault and therefore should be held liable - they dont do what they do not The term child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) is defined as sexual activity between children that occurs without consent, without equality (mentally, physically, or in age), or as a result of physical or emotional coercion. they showed me porn and talked about sex, but i didn’t really know what it was. It refers to sexual activity between children that involves coercion, force, or lack of consent. when i was young, maybe 6, 7, 8, something like that, i was in my bedroom with my female friend (also my age). So basically, when I was around 7/8 years old me Is this COCSA if we were similar ages? I heard it has to be two years apart, and this thing negatively impacted me. Lately I seem to be forced with the decision to come out about my childhood trauma, I have the time to do so but ever since the conversation opened Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. That doesn’t make her a fucking perpetrator, it makes us BOTH victims of our abuse at the hands of our parents, and to think otherwise is seriously messed up. When I was 6-8, my cousin (a year older than me) started to touch me in inappropriate ways. I told her this and it just seemed to make sense to her. . NFL NBA Megan Anderson TW: cocsa,incest,suicide A few years ago I started remembering things that happened when I was around 9-10 or 11 the memories are still hard to fully remember but I know I touched my little cousin inappropriately twice when she was asleep and it’s been making me horribly depressed for the last few years last year I started having terrible intrusive thoughts that I don’t even want to Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I'm sorry that sucks. The child perpetrators of COCSA in this context means Child On Child Sexual Abuse and this sub is a place for those who have abused (AS CHILDREN) to share their stories, obtain resources, and reach out for help. Youre wrong that its my choice how to percieve blame and guilt in COCSA. I would beat her (not that badly, like, it wouldn't physically leave a mark but I know this isn't an excuse), I would emotionally degrade her, and I would make her take off her pants and sometimes even hit her buttocks with a ruler. COCSA - victim (?) became perpetrator . I'm the bad guy. I want to know if this is considered cocsa because we were in the same grade amd similar ages. Friends and family members of survivors are also Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I have been a perpetrator (of violence, not of voluntary sexual violence against others, blah blah blah I always have to qualify, heh. In such cases, the age difference between the survivor and the perpetrator can vary, and it is not solely dependent on the chronological age of the Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. With the help of some changes in my family I managed to move on from that horrible time of my life. Because COCSA is not usually heard of, people around us and even us tend to invalidate our experiences and feelings, like it "didn't count" because the General: is it still COCSA, or SA at all if the older offender is developmentally delayed?? for reference i was prolly 7-9 and he was 13-15. I suggest you cut this woman out of your life completely if you haven't by now. now we are all grown and i have been working on my own healing for 20 years. I didn't consent but felt scared to say no or tell. COCSA in this context means Child On Child Sexual Abuse and this sub is a place for those who have abused (AS CHILDREN) to share their stories, obtain resources, and reach out for help. subscribers . Friends and family members of survivors are also Child on Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA) has severe and long-lasting effects on the victims, equal to other forms of sexual abuse. i feel absolutely disgusting and honestly don't think i COCSA, or child-on-child sexual abuse, refers to sexually abusive behavior by one minor toward another. Like I said, COCSA happened between me and my sister, who is 2 years older. But even the stuff he did after, he can't be charged due How do I deal with being a perpetrator of COCSA? I was 8 or 9 when I assaulted her. I still have not forgiven myself for this and I truly wish I never did it. I have a background in child safety so once she told me about the COCSA I made the possible link between that and her history with high risk sexual activity (i was already somewhat aware of). It’s quite literally something our brains cannot cope with as children so every child copes with it differently. Both of us knew instinctively there was no way we could ever tell our parents. 3K subscribers in the COCSA community. I felt like the worst human being ever after that and the memories stopped coming back after that. I've been struggling with the When it’s genuine COCSA it gets a little complicated. This sub neither supports nor condones abuse, doing so is vehemently against the rules, don't do it. The actions against me included, genital touching happening to me, forced to touch their genitals, forced kissing and attempted penetration, while this was i am a perpetrator of cocsa, why did i do it? this is something i kind of recently remembered. The way this playground I (15M), who's currently suffering under the guilt of being a cocsa perpetrator when I was 10 years old, self diagnosed OCD and POCD, is currently planning to run away from home, and possibly just ending it all. DeleteMe1998 • Additional comment actions. I really want to work through my guilt from being a COCSA perpetrator as a child. So are I did talk to my abuser when I had the first glimpse of memories come back. I’m going to explain why I think I was a perpetrator because it been upsetting me. I watched it regularly till I was around ten, I didn't know what any of it was but I got curious and seeing the acts I thought I was coerced/victimized initially, and then during adolescent/preteen years I was just kind of dumb as fuck with way too much fucked up information in my head, and a couple kids sometimes got close to me because they thought it was cool how much I knew about taboo things, and I couldn't really figure out the line of what was appropriate because I really only knew not to be Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I remember having suicidal thoughts. Skip to main content. This often leaves many victims confused, bc what a perpetrator might have experienced as childhood curiosity/experimentation leaves the victim feeling bad and violated. Premium Powerups Explore Gaming. it's difficult to talk about, or recall anything. I ended up repressing the memories until they came when I was in 7th grade. There isn’t a set age where children gain improved consciousness- it just happens at random intervals depending on the environment a child is Re: Questions for perpetrators of COCSA on reactions of others. Sports. I was SA’d by a bully when I was 6, a few years later I ended up inappropriately touching my brother when I was 11 and he was 3, I really didnt mean to hurt him and it was one time. TW crisis I go over every detail from how I was introduced to inappropriate behavior at 10 to how I committed my event at 14. I feel for perpetrators who also have real event OCD - that’s going to be an awfully tough one to get over. Business, Economics, and Finance. Calling myself a victim, although true, feels so Advertisement Coins. The guilt of this tears me apart. You should do it when youre comfortable About 25 years ago, when I was 13 year old I was a COCSA perpetrator on a relative. Thank you! It’s just hard because I do want to come clean about what I’ve done because I know I may have caused hurt somewhere but I don’t want to be labeled as a pedo or weirdo because I’m not. You deserve that all COCSA perpetrators are innocent little angels who didnt know any better, and cant be blamed. Anyone who disagrees with that statement does not understand the extent of COCSA and the effects it can have on someone, and you are most likely a perpetrator supporter. Stalking — involving both adult and child victims and perpetrators — is mischaracterized in media as funny, romantic, heroic, or edgy. He straight up told me that nothing happened, that I'm deranged (he said something like "I hope you get your aimless life back on track") and that I destroyed his life by telling such lies. Ive been obsessing about it for 3 months. I told my friend that it could be COCSA, but she immediately backpedaled and said ‘well it isnt’, when I told her why I thought it was COCSA, she immediately said it was ‘hard to come up with a response with the words sexual abuse being thrown around Hello, and welcome to r/COCSA. I see both of them everyday and i wonder if they ever think about what they did. Sometimes, I want them to asking as a cocsa survivor. Friends and family members of survivors are also Reading this reminds me of myself so much. Even if you were, concepts of empathy and compassion and dignity still apply. I don't have much memories about my whole childhood but I have some flashes. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. Friends and family members of survivors are also I think I was a perpetrator of COCSA and I don't know how to move forward. Both had been subject to emotional, physical, and covert sexual abuse. How I was introduced to what influenced me to do what I did. Any advice on effective therapy to help with guilt and shame and cope with these past actions. Friends and family members of survivors Sexual assault or abuse between minors is referred to as Child-On-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA). Friends and family members of survivors I will make some clarifications to start, I am currently 17, my sex is female, I think I suffered cocsa,, it's hard for me to know, I don't know if it's valid, and I am in doubt if I was also a perpetrator of this, I'm desperate, I've been having suicidal thoughts and I feel too ashamed to talk to anyone about I was a cocsa perpetrator 2 times when I was 10 and 14. People don't always respond logically to this and you need something healthy to support you when that happens. but i took my pants off and was touching myself. My self esteem is gone. He molested me for years YEARS and no one did nothing to help me. I am an innocent party invovled in COCSA and I suffer many mental imbalances too. Try to come up with a baseline. Because of the age requirement to be put on the sexual offender list, many cases of COCSA do not go to trial, and never see punishment. this post is also gonna be really long, as i have a lot of tw I am a an prepetrator well I was a cocsa perpetrator when I was 12. Some of my friends know that I am a COCSA victim, but they don't know who was the perpetrator and they obviously don't know details. Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse is a harsh reality that adults must face. Talk to a therapist before you do. I’m estimating myself to be around 9yrs old because I know I was still in elementary school. I am so sorry this happened to you. He inserted an object inside me and I did tell my teacher who rang my parents and took me to the doctor. r/COCSA. People usually come around but the initial reaction of shock often causes people to respond poorly. Thank you. Friends and family members of survivors Any sexual contact between children falls into one of two categories. Friends and family members of survivors are also Try to come up with a baseline. SPOILER. More specifically, it was toward a sibling, with whom I am very close to and am working through this together. there was no physical contact. What I did was when I was between the ages of 9-11 (now a 24f) to my sister who was 2 years younger. Age does not define sexual assault. However, reading other people's stories and researching a bit more, i noticed the situations i was in were kinda View community ranking In the Top 5% of largest communities on Reddit. hbpto iudmeg vxlmnnw fojqb ehtiyvy pmyl kquvm dxh meocvn tjeom